Expressen 201024
By: MARIA BRANDER
Helen Sjöholm has struggled with the belief in her own ability, and thoughts on how the voice ages. She has also gone through the shutdown of culture during the pandemic, and is now looking forward to “a new era” with a mixture of horror and delight.
– At home in the house, I definitely have problems with my self-image. This is not how you should feel when you are 51 (…)
In November, Helen Sjöholm goes on tour to sing in a concert halls. A type of tour she has not done in ages. It has been a void and a silence, where expectations, but also uncertainty about one’s own ability have been able to grow side by side.
– This period has done it with all of us, I think, she says.
– Not being allowed to play, not being allowed to be in it, creates a huge threshold, but also a great longing. It´s a roller coaster of horror-mixed delight. But I’m sure that when we start scratching, with a new band for me, it’s also super exciting. Being an artist and an actor is a way of life, so you lose a piece of yourself when you are away from it for so long. Honestly, I don´t know how it will feel. I’m curious, I should not say scared, but there is definitely a shakiness now. How does the voice sound when you have not really used it as a tool for a long time?
The album you are taking with you is called A New Time. It feels appropriate.
– Yes, it is a new time in terms of opening, but also because everything that happens now will characterize us for such a long time. It is on so many levels.
It’s also your first solo album, even though your career spans 25 years?
– I´ve interpreted, and collaborated with people. That with BAO is written for me, but more as a concept. I’m really not a record artist in the first place. I’m live. That’s my right element. But then I´ve longed for new songs to mix with the old ones.
You don´t write yourself. Do you sometimes struggle with the idea that an authentic artist must do that?
– Absolutely, and I’ll stop grappling with it.
– It’s very unnecessary. I have great respect and admiration for many of my writing colleagues. Not least when we did Så mycket bättre (So much better). But I think I give out from myself anyway. When I sing these songs, it’s just my own I dig into.
And the voice? Do you think about how it ages?
– Yes, and there I think I should not think about it. It will happen to everyone. As Annika Norlin sings “not like a sledgehammer, but like a gently sloping hill”.
But can it be difficult to mature in an industry that is so clearly characterized by a youthful and unspoiled ideal?
– Yes, but I’m like my own niche, and don´t belong to the absolute popular music. Even if the Kristina songs are from a fairly young woman, it’s not something I need to live up to, and I’ve always had a mature audience. Then you fight with your own hang-ups. To stand on a stage after two years of comfort eating, I was about to say. Lol! No, but seeing my artistry from the outside makes me limited (…)
Benny Andersson said in connection with the Abba comeback that just a few minutes before they were to enter the studio, it struck him that he didn´t ask the “girls” if they could sing…
– Yes, and they obviously could. There is timbre, things that fill a voice with age, even if you do not reach the same clarity. It was probably my thing that I sing clearly and cleanly. I can no longer do that in the same way. You have to forget the keys. You have to. It´s not possible to have the ideal of sounding like an unspoiled 25-year-old, nor is it interesting to continue like that.
Many reviewers have actually praised the voices of Agnetha and Anni-Frid now, precisely because you hear the time in them.
– Yes, and it would have been uninteresting if it had been mixed away. But now it goes right into the heart, at least for us a little older who grew up with their harmony, and hear the voices coming to us now.
Speaking of the Abba comeback: Were you as pleasantly surprised as the rest of us or did you have some “inside information”?
– I had some “inside information”. I had heard one of the songs a long time ago, and even sang a little on it. Benny moves with materials that are constantly evolving. So parts of one of the songs I myself have done a demo on. But I had not heard the ready-mixed result, so it was the same nice premiere shake for me.
You have to watch out for the question of a Kristina from Duvemåla with avatars. So that it can live forever…
– Hahaha! Oh my God.
– It’s a fun happening that they do. But for Kristina, I believe in the living as form. But that sensor suit? Give it to me!
Utvandrarna (The emigrants) come as a movie around Christmas, as does Tills solen går upp (Until the Sun Rises). It´s a romantic infidelity comedy where you and Mikael Persbrandt play spouses. He finds a magic book that makes him start living with his youthful love in his dreams instead. That sounds odd?
– It’s Peter Dalle in a package! I think it’s a movie you can get a little shaken by, and that asks funny questions. An absurd thought he has taken all the way.
What do you think of such fantasies?
– It depends on how much the dreams take over life, and how real it becomes. Everything has consequences. But daydreaming is a matter of survival both for oneself, life, and for marriage (…)
Once upon a time, you applied for the Stage School without being accepted, and you also have no singing training. Still, you´ve succeeded fantastically well. Does it create feelings of revenge or rather deceive the idea of being a scammer about to be revealed?
– The scam is close. Of course, I´ve learned a lot, especially during the Kristina period, and dare a lot at work that I don´t dare privately.
– But at home in the house, I definitely have problems with my self-image. This is not how you should feel when you are 51. (…) I think it is fantastic fun and I feel a huge thankfulness for what I get to do. Not least projects like Amy Deasismont’s Thunder in my heart which was an awesome journey. I have great respect for her who also dares to embark on a completely new path (…)
What about Så mycket bättre (So much better)? In 2016, you said you would never join, and see what happened!
– So it was. But someone told me to let go of the rim, and then I did. It was very moving, nice and great to hear how other artists put time and soul into something that I sang a lot. But at the same time was terribly nervous to stand in front of the original artists.
Your Euphoria was magnificent, but you may not have been able to sing it many times since then?
– No. I said no seven times to interpret it. It´s almost impossible to top. But thanks to Tomas Andersson Wij, it became something I could do for mine. I will definitely sing it this autumn.
Has your husband heard Han har ett sätt (He has a way) then, which you dedicated to him?
– No, not live. I´m not allowed to sing at home. He could probably hear it late one night, but then I`m sleeping in front of some TV series.
You are not allowed to sing at home?
– Not for the kids. So I do that when they’re gone.
Your husband David is a sound engineer. It´s an occupational group that has been hit very hard by the restrictions during the pandemic. How has it been for you?
– David has been very involved in that issue to clarify how big the industry is and how many have been affected: That this is a whole, and a business issue.
– It has been good for him to work with it. He gets angry and does something (…)
You’ve been married for fifteen years. What can you say about that journey?
– I think especially in recent years it has been clarifying, when you have been at home a lot. It has been good for us as a family. Although it has mostly been crap with this (pandemic), this has been good.I think especially in recent years it has been clarifying, when you have been at home a lot. It has been good for us as a family. Although it has mostly been crap with this (pandemic), this has been good.
– So I hope for another fifteen years!
Your eldest son Ruben participated, before the corona, in the musical Hugh and Nancy at Elverket. How do you feel about him rooting around in your tracks?
– He can root the best he wants! Then we’ll see where it ends up. We don´t want to push him too hard.
So there is nothing from your own career that can cause concern?
– No, I´ve had good opportunities, and have always had a lot of work. But now that I hadn´t, I gained perspective. We don´t live an expensive life, but I´ve never had to think about what things cost, except the accommodation then. But now in the last year and a half, things have changed.
– It’s a tough industry. But it would never occur to me to warn against it. I will only be happy if they find something they are passionate about that gives creativity.
But lately, have you been thinking about family expenses?
– We´ve done this before as well. But everyday stuff has never been a problem. I haven´t looked at price tags, but now I have to, and it’s just good – to understand how lucky we are, and have been.
What about the jobs then? To live into Gabriella’s song must require a lot mentally?
– Everything affects you. I did a role two years ago soon in Next to normal at Uppsala City Theater, which is about a seriously ill woman. Bipolar. With a great sorrow that she lived with for a long time. It crept in a lot, and we never got a chance to play out of it.
– Now maybe we´ll do it again, and I’m ready for it. But it’s hard to shake off, even though I’m better at it now than the first time with Kristina. It was tough to die every night in Anders Ekborg’s arms.
At the same time, many are strengthened by your song. Are you affected yourself?
– Yes, when I sing, they give strength. Singing has been my therapy since I was two, three years old. My way of handling everything. Through the singing, I have really been able to navigate and get emotions out of me.
You also write a diary. What does it give you?
– You can see cycles. It’s quite interesting. I’m not a person who stares into myself all the time. But the diary in particular has been good.
Do you see “a new time” there too?
– Yes, in a way. But it´s more clear in my everyday life.
– I’m on a new plateau with parents getting older, and with children entering adolescence and starting to close doors and create circles that I am not allowed to be a part of. You have your whole life, the whole line, in your hand somehow. I’m lucky to have my parents, and they’re healthy. Right now. But you know it doesn´t last forever. Soon the children are gone, and the situation is different. I have begun to understand how soon it is.
(…)
(The entire interview is not reproduced for copyright reasons)