Lice

Helen Sjöholm, Louise Pitre, Joy Hermalyn, David Hess, Ensemble

Kristina (to Ulrika) 
It’s you… You’ve infested us all with lice!

Ulrika 
We’re going to settle this right now, Kristina from Korpamoen!

Listen to this creature here
Always so polite and nice
Dares to tell me I’ve got lice
Ask my pardon on your knees

Kristina 
Not till Hell begins to freeze!
Kneel to you – I’d sooner die
I’ll embrace the devil first!

Ulrika 
Listen to your blasphemies
Don’t you care if you are cursed?

Danjel 
Silence, in the name of peace

Ulrika 
She must take it back, I say
Every lying word of it
Once upon a time, perhaps
I was young and strayed a bit
Jesus saved me from my shame

Kristina
And “The happy one’s” your name

Ulrika 
Gonna show the lot of you
There’s not a single louse on me
You look me over all you like
And not a bloody louse you’ll see

Kristina
Well, you are shaming every woman here
You wanton woman, you are crazy

Ulrika 
You’re the one who has accused me

Ulrika & Kristina
May the Lord above forgive you

Ulrika 
Then Inga-Lena shall be my witness!
Come with me and examine my clothes!

Fina-Kajsa
Speaking of lice… Do you know how the
louse was created?

Here’s that story now
Let me tell you how
Once the Lord came
down to Earth and was
harassed by a beggar in the street

Emigrants 
What did the Lord say?

Fina-Kajsa 
“Get yourself a job!”
Said Almighty God
“I’m afraid that’s not for me, good Sir
A krona oh please, I got to eat”

Emigrants 
What did the Lord do?

Fina-Kajsa
Never in the mood to carp or cavil
God Almighty grabbed a fist of gravel
Flung all of it upon the sluggard
Who was stunned and shouted:
“I’ll be buggered!”

Fina-Kajsa & Emigrants 
Every bit o’ gravel as it hit him
Turned into a little louse that bit him
“Scratch till you drop” the good Lord stated
That is how the louse was first created!

Ulrika
Tell ‘em all I spoke the truth
Did you see a sign of lice
Anywhere upon my skin?
Tell ‘em all what you have seen

Inga-Lena
She is absolutely clean

Ulrika
Absolutely clean, you hear?
Clean of lice and clean of flees
( Addressing Kristina )
Now you take back every word
Say you’re sorry if you please
Say you’re sorry on your knees

Kristina 
I would sooner rot in hell
Sooner leap into the sea
Kowtow to this Jezebel?
It would be a blasphemy
Don’t you dare to talk to me!

Ulrika 
Thank you for your kind advice

Kristina 
I still think you brought the lice

Ulrika 
Don’t you come the high and mighty
Thinking you’re a better class
I ought to scratch your eyeballs out
And shove ‘em up your bloody –

Kristina
Never will I ask your pardon
You are cruel and hard ‘n you will never scare me

Ulrika
You’re the one who has accused me

Ulrika & Kristina
May the Lord above forgive you

Fina-Kajsa
You can put some lice in a sandwich
To give to a child who is hungry
Makes a decent little snack
And he can chew it, a baby can do it
It tastes a bit like toffee

Emigrants
That’s nice. Mmm mmm!

Fina-Kajsa 
Recommended with a cup of coffee

Fina-Kajsa & Emigrants
Everyone in Sweden longs to get out
Even little lice can’t wait to set out
Scratch till you’re raw
You’ll never beat ‘em
Any way you try
You can’t defeat ‘em
Little parasites who love to chew you
Pesky little mites, they’ll chew right through you
Drill through your skin and then start munchin’
Have you for their breakfast, tea and luncheon
Crasping and a-crawling
Pestilential and appalling
Lice! 

© 2010 Mono Music AB

Tillbaka

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